ASSOCIATES (vol. 4, no. 2, November 1997) - associates.ucr.edu

Table of Contents


 
                     _TALES FROM THE SCRIPTORIUM_
 
                                 by
 
                           Douglas Morrison
                     Univ. of Akron/Wayne College
           
      Come in.....I have been expecting you for some time now. I'm
glad you did not disappoint me. I am the Script Keeper, and I want to
welcome you to my Scriptorium. I knew you couldn't pass up story time. 
Tonight we have a tale that will stand you in good stead if you listen 
well to its lessons.
 
      It is one of my favorites, wait here while I go to the shelves
and get it.
 
      SCRAPE, BUMP, AND MANY ASSORTED SOUNDS YOU HEAR LATE AT NIGHT,
SLOWLY YOU HEAR THE SOUNDS OF APPROACHING FOOTSTEPS.......
 
      Scrrraaapppeeee, THUMP! SSSccccrrraaaappppeeee, THUMP! Closer and
closer it comes!! Crrreeeeaaaakkkkk!!!!! The door opens
slowly....
 
      Ah! There you are my children, I have the tome that holds
tonight's tale of woe and sorrow.
 
      Ascending his stool and laying his burden on the desk, THUD! The
binding gives a sound of age as he opens the covers of the great
volume.....
 
      And he begins to speak.......
 
      Many years ago, two or three at least, in the age of the ruler
known as Clinton, Bill or Hillary - you may choose which - there
was, in the province or state (your choice) known as Ohio a small
community in which there resided a place of learning, known to
the people of the time as a college or university, dependent upon
its size and rank of degrees offered.
 
      Within this place of learning was a storehouse of accumulated
knowledge of many scholars and of many ages. It was much revered
by those who worked within its walls, and needed by those who
studied there.
 
      Such as by the young woman who comes into the storehouse looking
for information to quench the thirst for knowledge instilled in
her by the teachings of the faculty. She seeks both an
illustration of the human skeleton and information on this
creature's anatomy and physiology.
 
      Arriving at her destination she consults with the resident font
of wisdom and knowledge. (Yes, each storehouse has a minor sage
within it.) Receiving aid and direction to the collection of
reference materials on medical knowledge, she strides forth,
confident of the sagacity and rectitude of her information. (Note
- previous sentence contains words required of all stories or
articles intended as being classified as "Highbrow")
 
      Upon reaching this hallowed area of shelving she finds the titles
in question and begins questing for the object of her need. Upon
finding this tome, "The Universal Example and Illustrator of the
Actually Real Parts of the Human Skeleton, and Some Other Anatomy
Too" - try cataloging that!, she rejoices for her search has been
rewarded by the exact information required. She opens the great
book to its index and upon establishing the proper page number of
the illustration and information turns to it and
finds................AAAAAAAAAAAuuuuuuuggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!
(No, she is in no way related to Charlie Brown.)
 
      ....................Across the great chamber a most dastardly
villain grins a most satisfied smile. For he has achieved his
objective most effectively, yes John I. (stands for Idiot) Censor
has struck a bold stroke for the effective and necessary
elimination of that most offensive of objects: Information freely
given and available for others to read and learn from, but that
is offensive to himself and others for whatever reasons or
prejudices they might harbor!!
 
      The Script Keeper closes the Tome of Tales and moves closer to
address the assembled throng....
 
      It seems to be an ongoing problem within our great nation, people
who can not get books or other items censored one way take it
upon themselves to accomplish their mission another. They
deliberately mutilate books, graphic materials, pictures, and
other collected materials. Unfortunately, people continue to get
away with this because it often happens within the library
building without the material having to circulate.
 
      I ask my fellow staff members, what can we do to protect these
materials we have been given custodial charge and protection of?
What must be done to assure continued equal and uninhibited
access to all those we serve?  These matters are worth our
precious time and serious consideration.  Particularly near the
Halloween time of the year, when such horrific acts are foremost
in every one's mind already.