ASSOCIATES (vol. 4, no. 3, March 1998) - associates.ucr.edu
*LIBRARY LIFE:
A COLUMN OF ECLECTIC RANTINGS*
by
Katie Buller
Senior Library Assistant
University of Wisconsin - Madison
ktbuller@macc.wisc.edu
Things learned while in the bathroom:
As of 1989, the longest limousine in the world was a 60-foot
long, 20,000 lb. car called the "American Dream". It had 16 wheels,
2 engines, a swimming pool, a hot tub, a water bed, a helicopter
landing pad, a crystal chandelier, 3 color TV's (one a giant screen),
a microwave oven, VCR, 10 speaker stereo, 10 telephones, a mirrored
ceiling, cocktail table and hardwood flooring. It has 8 axles and
requires two drivers. My mom's car qualifies on the two drivers
requirement: one to actually drive the car while the other second
guesses every move. Also in 1989, the record for playing music
non-stop was set by a heavy-metal group called "Vengeance KSA". They
played for 107 hours straight. After setting this record, these
fellows apparently moved in next door to me.
As of 1990, there were some very interesting tourist
attractions over this broad land. You can visit the shopping mall
where Madonna's "True Blue" dress was exhibited and stolen. The woman
who stole it was chased and tossed it into a bush where it was later
found by some teenagers. You could visit the theft site at the 12
Oaks Mall in Novi, Michigan if I bothered to put the address down here.
You can also visit the various locales where Elvis has reportedly been
spotted since his "death" (wink wink!), most of which are in Kalamazoo,
Michigan. As a former citizen of Kalamazoo, I can attest to the fact
that these places once existed: the Burger King on S. Westnedge,
Felpausch's Grocery (actually in Vicksburg, Michigan), J.C. Penney's
at the Crossroads Mall, the Columbia Plaza Hotel on E. Michigan Ave.
(ask if John Burrows is registered) or Upjohn Pharmaceuticals
(surprise surprise...not).
In 1957, the following were among the facts and fiction set
forth about sexuality and teenagers: spermatozoa were called male germ
cells (maybe they still are for all I know), wearing high-heeled shoes
before age 16 will cause your leg muscles to shorten, unmarried
pregnant teens are a "rare exception" and being "gay, cheerful and
radiantly alive" will make you a more attractive companion. Also, the
"ambition of every girl is to find a life-long mate and prepare
herself for the ultimate purpose of every woman: to be a wife and
mother". Hey, I don't write 'em, I just report 'em.
I also found out that:
The Boy Scouts' motto of "Be Prepared" shares its initials with
the Scouts' founder, Colonel Robert Baden-Powell. Covering a yawn
with your hand is derived from an attempt to keep the breath of life
from escaping. The French guillotine was NOT invented by Dr. Joseph
Ignace Guillotin. The good doctor was only instrumental in persuading
the French National Assembly to pass a law requiring all capital to be
carried out "by means of a machine". Oscar Wilde's last words were
"This wallpaper is killing me--one of us has got to go." Fred
Waring, 1930s bandleader, financed and developed the Waring Blender in
order to mix his favorite drink, the daiquiri. The "evil eye" was
dreaded in nearly all cultures. Silly Putty was a by-product
resulting from research to find a low-cost rubber substitute for use
in military equipment. However, entertaining as it was, no practical
use could be found for it until it was packaged and sold as a child's
toy. The Slinky spring toy also came from research to develop
flexible springs to counterbalance ships at sea. However, unlike
Silly Putty, it has found other uses than a plaything--it has gone
into space to observe the effects of weightlessness on springs, used
as an antenna by soldiers in Vietnam and has been incorporated into a
device to pick pecans.
Canned foods pre-date the can opener by around 40 years. Dodos
became extinct in 1681. By all accounts, this bird had no natural
predators on its native island of Mauritius until humans arrived.
Then it was bye-bye dodo. Today's "garden cemeteries" are the result
of a movement to clean up the disease-infected quagmires that composed
church graveyards, especially after a yellow-fever epidemic in New
York.
Hank Williams died in a pink 1953 Cadillac. Cowboy star Tom Mix
died in a 1944 Cord when his suitcase became unlashed and flew forward,
breaking his neck and killing him instantly. Richard Berry wrote the
words to "Louie Louie" on a piece of toilet paper backstage at the
Harmony Club Ballroom in Anaheim, California. The oldest shopping
center in America is the Country Club Plaza in Kansas City. It was
built in 1922.
Johnny Cash has sung so much about prisons, he must have spent
quite a bit of time in them, right? Wrong, unless you count his
concerts in prisons. Johnny Cash's prison experience is limited to
20 hours total jailtime for various minor infractions, including
picking flowers on the courthouse lawn at 2AM.
Zsa Zsa Gabor slapped "that gorgeous officer" (and having seen
the officer involved, I agree!) at the corner of Olympic Blvd. and Le
Doux Rd. in Beverly Hills.
And last but not least....Mrs. Fields never sold her cookie
recipe for $250.00. Neither did Nieman-Marcus. .
Now, can you sleep tonight?
Sources:
_1989 Guiness Book of World Records_. New York. Sterling.
Brunvand, Jan Harold. _The Vanishing Hitchhiker._ New York. W.W.
Norton, 1981.
Mozes, Eugene B. _Sex Facts and Fiction for Teenagers._ New York.
Medical Research Press. 1957.
Panati, Charles. _Panati's Extraordinary Endings of Practically
Everything and Everybody._ New York. Harper & Row. 1989.
Panati, Charles. _Panati's Extraordinary Origins of Everyday Things._
New York, Harper & Row. 1987.
Staten, Vince. _Unauthorized America._ New York. Harper & Row. 1990.