ASSOCIATES (vol. 4, no. 2, November 1997) - associates.ucr.edu
Table of Contents
_TALES FROM THE SCRIPTORIUM_ by Douglas Morrison Univ. of Akron/Wayne College Come in.....I have been expecting you for some time now. I'm glad you did not disappoint me. I am the Script Keeper, and I want to welcome you to my Scriptorium. I knew you couldn't pass up story time. Tonight we have a tale that will stand you in good stead if you listen well to its lessons. It is one of my favorites, wait here while I go to the shelves and get it. SCRAPE, BUMP, AND MANY ASSORTED SOUNDS YOU HEAR LATE AT NIGHT, SLOWLY YOU HEAR THE SOUNDS OF APPROACHING FOOTSTEPS....... Scrrraaapppeeee, THUMP! SSSccccrrraaaappppeeee, THUMP! Closer and closer it comes!! Crrreeeeaaaakkkkk!!!!! The door opens slowly.... Ah! There you are my children, I have the tome that holds tonight's tale of woe and sorrow. Ascending his stool and laying his burden on the desk, THUD! The binding gives a sound of age as he opens the covers of the great volume..... And he begins to speak....... Many years ago, two or three at least, in the age of the ruler known as Clinton, Bill or Hillary - you may choose which - there was, in the province or state (your choice) known as Ohio a small community in which there resided a place of learning, known to the people of the time as a college or university, dependent upon its size and rank of degrees offered. Within this place of learning was a storehouse of accumulated knowledge of many scholars and of many ages. It was much revered by those who worked within its walls, and needed by those who studied there. Such as by the young woman who comes into the storehouse looking for information to quench the thirst for knowledge instilled in her by the teachings of the faculty. She seeks both an illustration of the human skeleton and information on this creature's anatomy and physiology. Arriving at her destination she consults with the resident font of wisdom and knowledge. (Yes, each storehouse has a minor sage within it.) Receiving aid and direction to the collection of reference materials on medical knowledge, she strides forth, confident of the sagacity and rectitude of her information. (Note - previous sentence contains words required of all stories or articles intended as being classified as "Highbrow") Upon reaching this hallowed area of shelving she finds the titles in question and begins questing for the object of her need. Upon finding this tome, "The Universal Example and Illustrator of the Actually Real Parts of the Human Skeleton, and Some Other Anatomy Too" - try cataloging that!, she rejoices for her search has been rewarded by the exact information required. She opens the great book to its index and upon establishing the proper page number of the illustration and information turns to it and finds................AAAAAAAAAAAuuuuuuuggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh!! (No, she is in no way related to Charlie Brown.) ....................Across the great chamber a most dastardly villain grins a most satisfied smile. For he has achieved his objective most effectively, yes John I. (stands for Idiot) Censor has struck a bold stroke for the effective and necessary elimination of that most offensive of objects: Information freely given and available for others to read and learn from, but that is offensive to himself and others for whatever reasons or prejudices they might harbor!! The Script Keeper closes the Tome of Tales and moves closer to address the assembled throng.... It seems to be an ongoing problem within our great nation, people who can not get books or other items censored one way take it upon themselves to accomplish their mission another. They deliberately mutilate books, graphic materials, pictures, and other collected materials. Unfortunately, people continue to get away with this because it often happens within the library building without the material having to circulate. I ask my fellow staff members, what can we do to protect these materials we have been given custodial charge and protection of? What must be done to assure continued equal and uninhibited access to all those we serve? These matters are worth our precious time and serious consideration. Particularly near the Halloween time of the year, when such horrific acts are foremost in every one's mind already.