ASSOCIATES (vol. 1, no. 3, March 1995) -

Table of Contents

                     RUSTY REVIEWS RUSTY...
                        PAY YOURSELF ONE
                       W.C. (Rusty) Divens
                      Head, Access Services
            at an academic medical library somewhere
             near the confluence of the Monongahela,
                   Allegheny, and Ohio Rivers
The Rustbelt Institute of Meaningless Library Research is a
non-profit, non-discriminatory and non-existent research institute
dedicated to advancing library research in the same way the Journal
of Irreproduceable Results furthers the cause of Scientific
Research.  Publications of the Institute are available to all
free of charge, in digital format only.  They are worth the
paper they are printed on.
The Institute is chartered under the laws of the Republic
of Texas and is headquartered at the Possom Trot Truck Stop, Firin'
Range and Academic Library in Possom Trot, Kentucky.
The genesis of the institute was the original publication of
compilation of countless postings to CIRCPLUS in answer to the
query "What are your library hours?".
the seminal publication for Circulation Staff.  Hardly a week goes
by without a person inquiring of the listserver as to the hours of
operation of libraries.  Hardly a day goes by that someone does not
offer their hours for public viewing.
After nearly a year of in-depth analysis, interviews and
creative journalism, it was determined that libraries generally
are open the hours that they are listed as being open and are
closed the hours they are listed as being closed.  Libraries tend
to open on the hour and half hour..excepting those that don't.
Library administrators wishing to use this work in determining
policy and hours of operation should be gratified to know that
whatever they decide to do, someone somewhere is doing it also.
Herein lies the value of the work.  Administrators are spared the
expense of doing hours of useless research, and are now free to
engage in other useless endeavors.
Sales of this publication peaked in late 1993 with the
sale of the second copy.
The rousing success of the publication prompted yet another
research endeavor resulting in the second volume of the trilogy:
people have to worry about whether their vacation would take them
to places with exorbitant they were able to plan the
vacation to take advantage of low fines.
Again, highly valued as an administrative tool, those who make
policy have the option of (a) finding another institution with
the policies they wish to emulate for no good reason,  (b) closing
their eyes and pointing to a fine policy that they would implement,
or (c) ignoring the publication entirely and finding a policy which
works best for your institution by actually conducting original
research.  The latter is the path least often chosen, requiring
decision-making abilities and a certain amount of 'hutzpah'.
The final publication in the trilogy is the volume (soon to be
released) _RESERVE STUFF AND OTHER ODDITIES_.  The most daring of
the publications, it addresses the issues of management of the
Reserve Collection with such controversial issues as the number of
copies kept on reserve for a particular professor, whether or not
these items may be circulated overnight and how badly students
should be castigated if returning the items 2 or three minutes
late.  Clearly these are issues of international significance.  One
can hardly plan their educational career without full knowledge of
reserve procedures at their selected institution of higher
One might be forced to ask why these publications exist, when one
can simply post an inquiry on the CIRCPLUS(
listserver.  The answer is simple: not all people have access to
this listserver; and many who do occasionally sign off for periods
of 3-4 years.  To be sure, there are occasionally substantive
discussions held on this list, but they quickly are lost in the
flurry of postings about whether student employees are permitted to
read, wear t-shirts or eat without utensils.
In reality, it became apparent that the list is much like
a 10 month video cassette and can simply be rewound and replayed
when it reaches the end.  Some might ask why then does not the
RIMLR make these publications available on cassette?  The answer is
as simple as it is succinct.  Environmental concerns.  The cuddly
PolyVinyl is soon to be on the endangered species list, and there
are manly lumberjacks in the Northwest who are sitting on their
axes while the spotted owl drops acorns on them from their
protected nesting trees.  This situation cannot continue.
Therefore, the RIMLR supports the kindred spirit "good ol' boys" in
the northwoods as brothers-in-arms of the gear-jammin',
baccy-spittin' patrons of the Possom Trot facility.
W.C. (Rusty) Divens is a victim of his own follies.  He first
started working in libraries as a student and was instrumental in
implementing the 'hide and seek' patron assistance technique among
other student workers.  Moving to full-time supervisory work in
1975, he decided to continue working in libraries until a 'real
job' came along.  Twenty years later, that real job hasn't yet
arrived, but bowing to pressure Rusty completed his MLS degree.  He
successfully resisted the medical procedure done upon graduates to
remove the 'common sense' glands.  A fellow of Norman Stevens'
MOLESWORTH INSTITUTE, Rusty believes in humor as the key to
When sent to China for three months as a consultant, he
successfully engineered the introduction of Country and Western
music in the lounge of the Faculty Club at Shanghai Jiao Tong
University.  He also threw one of the wildest 'departure parties'
ever known to have taken place at that august institution.
Resembling a cross between Clint Eastwood and Wilfred Brimley, he
has gained recognition far in excess of his talents, which are
minimal at best.  He lists among his accomplishments piloting an
airplane under one of Pittsburgh's most imposing bridges, driving
from San Diego to Pittsburgh in 39 hours and surviving 20 years in
a library environment without attempting to purchase a large
caliber handgun.  Conservative to the core, he believes that the
last good music died with Glenn Miller.  The product of a union
between an Army corporal and a Marine gunnery sergeant, he is
believed to be carrying the genetic code for a cloning of
General George S. Patton.
He resides at