ASSOCIATES (vol. 8 no. 1, July 2001) - associates.ucr.edu
My dear readers,
I must apologize for the shortness
of this column, but I am having a hard time coming up with a subject this
month, even though there is no shortage of ideas The problem is that every one of the topics I've thought about has the potential to cause distress among our readers. Now those of you who have read my columns over the years know that I would NEVER EVER want to cause distress. Just to prove how sensitive I'm being, here is a list of rejected topics:
"Librarian hair: sugar bowls
or does it grow that way?"
"Who let the catalogers out?"
"Why E-bay should be considered work-related"
"Staring patrons: mentally disturbed or simply can't believe what they're seeing?"
"Two can live as cheaply as one in compact shelving drawers"
"Turn paperclip chains into a profitable business"
"Chewing gum, the librarian's friend"
"Make your own cockroach circus"
"Selectric typewriters, demon spawn"
"Turn your security gate into an exercise machine"
"Beeping sounds and how to ignore them"
"Building a new circulation desk out of 2 inch pencils"
"101 uses for discarded patron clothing"
"Elmer's glue and rubber band sculpture"
"Book press noodles"
"Fundraising with fire extinguishers"
"Why libraries and police stations should be combined"
"Sea monkeys, the key to the future of libraries"
"Catalog card lasagna"
"Seasonal decorating with bathroom tissue"
"Heathkit circulation systems"
"Knit your own new carpet"
"Bookmobile rodeos: great fundraisers or just a big mess to clean up?"
"Lose weight, feel great on the book paste diet!"
"The Cruella DeVil storytelling method"
"A natural partnership: libraries and bait shops"
"Noxious odor eradication and the fourth amendment"
"Dr. Laura chicken neck stew"
So you see, I had a great selection but had I chosen one to write on well, you know me. I'd be hanging myself on my own petard again. So, if you have suggestions for library-related topics that don't require any research and won't get me into trouble, please forward them to me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I'll be glad to file them.